Archive for May 2011

Falling To Pieces

Choices and decisions.

The rallying theme I see so often in other blogs is having no regrets.  I’m guilty of that.  Often pointing out I have no regrets, just lessons learned.  But seriously, how can we really go through life without regrets?  I think that maybe the reason I say that is because if I have regrets about a choice I’ve made then I’m admitting I made a mistake.

And we can’t admit we’ve made mistakes…can we?

This came up for me in reflecting on the leaving my job.  Did I make a mistake?  Should I have just stayed and seen things through?  I see my former staff disintegrating and I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible. Realistically I know that things were headed downhill and staying was very unhealthy for me but at the same time I find myself wondering if I did the right thing.

Leaving my job has caused me to look at my life in painstakingly detail.  For a long time my friends have pointed out that they believe I work(ed) so much to avoid dealing with things in my life that made me unhappy.  Recently my shrink pointed out that without being so busy at work I was going to learn some things about myself.  So far the learning experience hs been less than pleasant.

It seems for a long time my job, with all of its stresses, was the glue holding me together.  Because right now I feel like I’m just falling to pieces.  I don’t feel despondent or pessimistic about the future.  I just no longer know what my future is.  For someone like me that’s a rough place to be.  However, that’s also the positive side of this.  I don’ t know what’s ahead.  I’ve taken things back to basics, so to speak.  Whatever choices I do make, I’m going to make the most of them and do so knowing that it’s what is the right thing for me.

Or at least I hope it works out that way.

Coming to you from Arizona

So, um, what do you think of my new blog?

I’m officially “official.”  I can’t take credit for any of it.  I picked the artwork but other than that it was all the work of a good friend of mine.  I shall be eternally grateful.

Originally I had wanted to a VLOG for my first post but I’m tired, exhausted, pooped, wiped out..well you get the picture.  Currently I’m in Arizona.  Einstein’s first semester at college is officially over and we moved him out this morning.  I arrived last night and after a nice meal with Einstein I headed back to the hotel.  And barely slept a wink.  I hate that I have trouble sleeping in hotels especially when it’s a nice big bed that I have all to myself.

I brought my bike with me to Arizona because a)I haven’t been riding all week; b)my legs needed serious stretching out after the gazillion squats my trainer made me do; and c)because I told my trainer I would do it.  So at 5:30 this morning I woke up determined to go for a ride.  And then I looked at the temperature.  Thirty-one degrees!!!  And have I mentioned Flagstaff is at 7,000 feet elevation

But I did it anyway.  And then I moved Einstein out.  Down six flights of stairs.  Going down stairs, carrying boxes, is still quite the workout.

It wasn’t that bad though.

Took up most of the back seat of the truck and a majority of the bed.

We left Flagstaff and headed to Jerome.  I love Jerome.  Even more important I love a restaurant in Jerome named Grapes.  Best restaurant ever!!!!  We walked around Jerome for a bit.  It’s my third time there so I’ve pretty much seen everything.  Or at least I thought so until I spied this backyard.

Seriously, how cool is that?

I’ve been trying to decide what to do with my backyard.  I’m just sayin’………..

Please be patient while I familiarize myself with word press.  It will be an uphill climb.

Wordless Wednesday – Where does the time go?

Circa summer 2000

Today

 

No elbow hits for me this week

Since my “retirement” I have been doing my best to spend more time taking care of myself, especially in regards to exercise. I’ve stepped up my training and have started sparring again. This past Saturday was my second foray back into the sparring ring.

After sparring I often find myself feeling one of two things. Sometimes I feel that I sucked big time and want to give up and never go back. Those are the days I go home, stand in the shower for twenty minutes and bawl my eyes out like a little girl.

Some days I leave and feel good about my performance. I feel that I was able to hold my own and almost look forward to doing it again.

Apparently there is now a third option. I left not feeling as bad as I did the Saturday before, but I didn’t feel good about my performance either.

What I feel now is sore. VERY SORE. When sparring you defintely work every muscle you have and no matter how much you actively kickbox during the week sparring will leave you feeling very sore.

Unfortunately after last Saturday it also left me very bruised. My right shin is still bruised from over a week ago and has started to reach that lovely greenish phase. My elbow looks, well, nasty. This photo doesn’t begin to do it justice.

The lesson here…don’t blog a kick with your elbow.

I also wanted to start some cross-training. In the past I’ve done some running but it’s just not something I enjoy doing anymore. A couple of years ago I won a very nice BMW bicycle, eighteen speed, that retailed for about $1000.00. My trainer suggested cycling as a solution. Much easier on my joints and a great way to stretch out my legs which always seem to be hurting.

For the past two weeks I’ve been cycling a minimum of three times a week. I started off slow, going about five miles. Last week I upped it to eight miles. I don’t have a specific goal in mind as far as time or distance. Right now it’s a great form of exercise that allows me to enjoy the outdoors and does wonders on clearing my head.

I did have to give in and buy some bike shorts though because wow my ass was sore.

That’s probably more than you needed to know about me.

It does feel good to be active again.

Wordless Wednesday – Fun with my nieces and nephews