For My Mom

Anyone that has been reading my blog knows that losing my mom was seriously the worst thing I have ever experienced.  I wanted to memorialize my mom with a tattoo for a few different reasons.  The first being, she hates my tattoo.  I know that this sounds odd but it seemed fitting.  She hated them, but she accepted them and it is how I express myself.  Getting a tattoo wasn’t for my mom but it was for me.  My mom loved the story of the Lion and the Lamb (it is also a gospel song) and we had the image engraved on her grave marker.

Last year I had the opportunity to meet Terri of So Cal Tattoo.  I immediately liked Terri and got a good vibe off of her.  She is also a mom and a grandma and I thought she would be a perfect person to do my tattoo.  It took several months to just decide to do it but I had my appointment to meet with Terri for yesterday.  I had a few pictures but not being creative myself I was hoping she could offer a lot of her own creativity.  Terri and I discussed the pictures and what I was looking for and she told me that while she really wanted to work with me she didn’t think she was the best artist for the work.  LOVE her for that.  She referred me to Tom Berg.  Tom immediately knew what I was trying to do and we scheduled an appointment for August.  He told me to plan for two sittings.

Hubby and I decided to eat while we were out and went to a spot up the street.   About halfway into our lunch I received a phone call from So Cal Tattoo and Tom’s morning appointment didn’t show so they asked if I wanted to come back in and get started.

Excitement doesn’t even begin to describe my response.

Three hours later I had this.

It is better than I even imagined.  In some ways it is really overwhelming.  It’s out there for the world to see and is a reminder of not only losing my mom but recovering from that.  It’s my way of saying “I love you and I miss you.” I purposely chose to not include any wording about my mom or losing her.  The tattoo is for me and I know what it signifies.  Most of my tattoos are small and mean things to me, but they’re not out there for the world to see.  Everytime I look in the mirror I’m still shocked by this one.

I can’t wait to show off the finished project but I have to wait for August for that to happen.  In the meantime I am taking good care to see that this heals properly and as you can see from all the red in the picture, it was fairly painful. Painful yet cathartic.

If there was ever a time I needed my mom this week was it.  The hysterectomy was scary.  Not knowing what was going to happen was scary.

And now I know I will always have my mom.  In my strength, in my inability to give up even though so many times I want to, in knowing who I am and rejoicing in my independence, and in a million other ways.

Thanks mom.

 

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