Whether you’re late for church or you’re stuck in jail Hey words gonna get around Everybody dies famous in a small town

Blogging before bed seems to becoming a habit, well I’ve done it three times, but still that counts for something.

Tomorrow I return home to the LBC.  I’ve been in Northern California since Saturday and I’m finding it very hard to get on the plane tomorrow.  In fact if it wasn’t for the fact that Beav is in school and there are a few people near and dear to my heart I probably wouldn’t.  Tonight I mentioned to a friend that I’m a different person when I’m at home.   And I am.  I’m more relaxed, more comfortable in my own skin.  I suppose the easiest way to say it is that I feel that I belong.  I love cities, but would rather visit than live in one.   I’m happiest in an environment where I can walk outside and not see tall buildings.  I prefer looking outside my window and seeing trees, fields, animals….and not the inside of my neighbor’s house.  I love taking Sunday drives on back roads.

You get the idea.

When I moved almost ten years ago I felt it was time to go.  The downside, and there is more than one, of a small town is that EVERYONE knows you and your business.  At times that can be comforting but it can also be limiting.  When people know you to be a certain way it’s impossible to try to change.  And when I left I needed to change.  It was time to grow and I was having a hard time with the people around me actually letting me do that.

But now I find myself needing that familiarity.   Right now I crave that ability to exhale slowly.  The last two times I’ve been here I’ve had a hard time returning to the LBC.  I have a feeling it’s just going to get harder.

Eventually I’m going to have to figure out what to do about that.

Title from Miranda Lambert’s “Famous In A Small Town”

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