Archive for August 2014
Where’s the first aid kit?
When it comes to how to deal with things I believe that there are three different kinds of people. I’ll use a band-aid as an example.
People know it’s going to hurt when they remove the band-aid so they
-rip it off knowing it’s going to hurt and they just want to get it over with
-peel it off slowly, a little at a time
-leave it alone until it falls off
For the longest time I was the first type. If something bad was happening I ran into it head on and dealt with it. I’ve always considered myself an all or nothing person so I suppose that it shouldn’t surprise me that I’ve gone from being the first type of person to the third type.
I’m not sure I like the second option but there must be a happy medium.
For the past several months, and by several I mean at least twelve months I reached a point where I just didn’t want to deal with anything negative. Meanwhile things have been just piling up. I’ve been miserable and unhappy with myself and every day seemed like a repeat of the day before. I had good intentions. I would wake up each day with the desire and intention to start anew but it just didn’t happen. I would make lists and they just kept getting longer. Some days I wouldn’t even look at the lists.
However now the situation has reached critical mass.
I feel like this:
I’m not sure where to even start. I tried starting with a list (shocker). I made a list of all the things that I thought were wrong with my life. I don’t recommend doing this. It’s depressing and does nothing to improve the situation. There are so many things I don’t like about myself and there are so many things I want and need to change. I’ve spent too much time thinking about it, feeling sorry for myself, crying, etc, etc.
I think the only way to start is one step at a time. One foot in front of the other. I’ll be facing some unpleasant issues, but compared to what I’ve been through, I’ve got this.
At least I hope so.