Posts Tagged ‘blogging’

What is the probability that I succeed?

I’ve been a bad blogger lately.  It’s been a weird couple of weeks.  My emotions have been in high gear and I have no idea why.  To some extent I am still dealing with it.  Maybe I need to spend more time at the dojo…take my frustrations and emotions out on a heavy bag.

I have (finally) made the decision to leave the job I took in August.  To put it simply, I hate it.  I’m not sure why and there are a few possibilities I have considered.  The most likely culprit is that I am having a tough time going from being the boss to being someone’s employee.  Doesn’t that sound horrible?  And egotistical?  I hate even admitting it.  Even though I’m technically an independent contractor with them it’s just not working out.  Not to mention between work and school and with hubby working nights, I’m not getting anything done anywhere else.  In two weeks I start a second nine week class on Tuesdays and Thursdays which will just make things more difficult.  Considering the new class and my overwhelming dislike for the job I gave notice.

And to be honest after seeing how some other things are going there I think I made a good decision.  My last day is Friday.

I have taken on another independent job on the side.

With my former employer.

I’ll just let that sink in for a moment.

My former employer called me to ask if I would help out with an issue.  I can’t go into details because it is possibly a criminal/legal issue but I did start the process before I left and I’m basically the only one that knows where the bodies are buried.  I did agree to do this and have already talked to the management company about when I would spend time in the office doing the necessary research.  At this point it’s probably a good idea to go ahead and get a business license for my consulting business since this is technically my second client.  I just have no idea what will happen once I’m done with this project.  And I’m worried that everything will dry up after this.  But….who knows.

Hubby keeps saying that I just need to work on something I want to do.  I’ve been thinking about that a lot.  I’ve always wanted to have a non-profit.  Something that is community based and helpful to those in need.  I’ve done a ton of volunteer work in the past twenty-two years and I am sure that is where this passion comes from.  Lately I’ve been feeling a real pull to move forward with this.  I don’t want to be specific about the purpose of what I want to create just yet.  I am still doing a lot of research on whether there is a need, objectives, etc.   For now I’m just going to refer to it as the NON-PROFIT.

School, or I should say specifically statistics, is kicking my ass. This is the hardest class I’ve ever had and I’m really struggling to stay on top of it.  I’m really not used to feeling this challenged in school and it is more than a little intimidating.  I pretty much bombed my first exam (I got a C) and am so apprehensive about the next one.  I’ve noticed she’s throwing more quizzes in the mix so I’m starting to wonder if the class, overall, did poorly.  Or maybe I’m the only that totally sucks at it.    Either way I need to bring my A game to the next exam.

Since its Wednesday it is date night and as much as I’d like to continue boring you here….I’ve got to try to look presentable.   Stay tuned for more posts about how completely indecisive I am about my future.  Mid-life crisis anyone?