Posts Tagged ‘Northern California’

Whether you’re late for church or you’re stuck in jail Hey words gonna get around Everybody dies famous in a small town

Blogging before bed seems to becoming a habit, well I’ve done it three times, but still that counts for something.

Tomorrow I return home to the LBC.  I’ve been in Northern California since Saturday and I’m finding it very hard to get on the plane tomorrow.  In fact if it wasn’t for the fact that Beav is in school and there are a few people near and dear to my heart I probably wouldn’t.  Tonight I mentioned to a friend that I’m a different person when I’m at home.   And I am.  I’m more relaxed, more comfortable in my own skin.  I suppose the easiest way to say it is that I feel that I belong.  I love cities, but would rather visit than live in one.   I’m happiest in an environment where I can walk outside and not see tall buildings.  I prefer looking outside my window and seeing trees, fields, animals….and not the inside of my neighbor’s house.  I love taking Sunday drives on back roads.

You get the idea.

When I moved almost ten years ago I felt it was time to go.  The downside, and there is more than one, of a small town is that EVERYONE knows you and your business.  At times that can be comforting but it can also be limiting.  When people know you to be a certain way it’s impossible to try to change.  And when I left I needed to change.  It was time to grow and I was having a hard time with the people around me actually letting me do that.

But now I find myself needing that familiarity.   Right now I crave that ability to exhale slowly.  The last two times I’ve been here I’ve had a hard time returning to the LBC.  I have a feeling it’s just going to get harder.

Eventually I’m going to have to figure out what to do about that.

Title from Miranda Lambert’s “Famous In A Small Town”

Conflict and Confusion

So much to write about and so little time.  Hitting the road to Canada today and still lots to do before I go.

I’m recovering well.  Had my first post-operative visit on Friday and my doctor said that I was literally the poster child for the best recovery ever.  He then told me not to tell lots of women about how well I felt after my hysterectomy because it wasn’t normal to feel this great this fast, ha ha.  I think that being in good physical shape before the surgery definitely made the difference.  Also one of the reasons I feel so good is because I don’t have pain any longer.  I didn’t realize how much pain I was in on a daily basis until it was gone.  The relief is amazing.

Yesterday was a tough day though.  Hubby and I were scheduled to work the wine garden for three hours at the fair.  All it involves is standing and pouring wine.  It’s fun because a lot of the folks have no idea what they even like so it’s a good opportunity to show off what little knowledge you have.  Plus I really love wine and it’s fun sharing that love with others.  About two hours into my shift the pain started.  It was some intense cramping and eventually subsided after taking a painkiller.  However it did force us to return home immediately after our shift was over.  Well kinda….we got on the freeway and I soon discovered I left my glasses there so we had to turn around and go back to get them.  But eventually we made it home.

This past week has been challenging for me.  I started out evaluating a friendship I had and wondering where it will go because of some issues that have been going on.  I just can’t tolerate toxic people and/or situations in my life and if I can control that, I will.  Lots of conflict in my heart and I’m hoping the time away gives me some perspective.

While I’m away I also want to do some serious thinking about work vs. school and what I intend to do with the rest of my life. Yes, I’ve registered for school but I miss working.  I miss making money.  And….yes, this is horrible to say, I miss disposable income.  I miss knowing if I want/need something I can buy it.  I’m human, shoot me.   Maybe I don’t have what it takes to make the sacrifices required to finish school.

Confusion is everywhere.

That’s where I am today.  Lots of things for me to think about while I’m on the road.

1st stop – Lincoln, California