Posts Tagged ‘volunteering’

It’s my life and it’s now or never

I have a habit of holding my breath. Not the kind of holding your breath that makes you pass out but the kind where you think so much about where you want to be in life that you don’t enjoy the life you have.  I have gotten so much better at this but it’s still something I struggle with.

 

Cricket-is-Akin5

I knew the move to Portland would be a major life changing event. Moving away from all of my friends and even leaving my love for a short period of time.  It wasn’t a change that scared me but since I’ve been here I’ve had moments of fear and insecurity. Moments when I begin thinking “What in the world am I doing?”

Today celebrates my first four weeks in Portland.  In that four weeks I’ve reconnected with a friend that lives here, I’ve made new friends and have socialized via meet up, I’ve taken a road trip to Bend to see family, and more importantly, I got a job.  I am constantly having to remind myself that I’m not here visiting Portland, this is my new home.  And that’s the next daunting task…finding a place to live.   The rental market here is brutal. The first inquiry I made was a huge wake up call. “Thank you for inquiring about the rental. People are coming by to look at it. You can come by tomorrow if you want but I’ve already decided I’ll probably rent it to someone else.”

Um. Okay?

I’m not going to let that get me down though. I’ve got this.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the things I want to accomplish and change about my life.  I’ve been taking two to three mile walks every other day and during this time I keep thinking about all of the things I want to do. This next chapter of of my life is one I plan to enjoy as much as I can.  I started working on a mental list and I felt it was time to put it down on paper.  Or in this case, blog it.

  1.  Find a good job. – I start Monday and I’m very excited.  From what I’ve experienced so far I believe I’m going to enjoy my new workplace and for the first time in a long time I will have full benefits.  I was very clear during my interviews that I wanted a place to continue my career and stay planted at for a long time.  I think this is a good fit.
  2. Find a (permanent) place to live. This will happen…right?
  3. Go back to school. – Years ago I promised myself I would graduate before Einstein.  That did not happen. Before we split up I had encouraged JBG to go back to school. He was hesitant to do so and now he’s working on his doctorate.  This does not help me feel like any less of a slacker.  My goal is to start with the winter or spring semester -2016.  It’s time.
  4. Start volunteering again.  This is something that has been missing in my life for a long time. A couple of weeks ago I was killing time before a job interview at a Starbucks and there was a notice on their bulletin board regarding volunteers for SARC.  You may or may not know that I had once been a certified crisis counselor for domestic violence and sexual assault survivors.  I was a victim advocate with two different SARTs (Sexual Assault Response Team) in California.  I contacted the organization on the bulletin board and met with them on Thursday.  Pending my background check I will start my training with them at the end of September.
  5. Kickboxing – Once I find our permanent housing I will begin looking for a muay thai gym and I want to start training again.  I won’t be where I was five years ago but it’s something that I miss doing.  Not to mention it has been the only way that I have been able to effectively lose weight and get in shape doing something I love. I might even see if I can find something in proximity to my office so I can even get started earlier.  The difficult part of this is my right shoulder has a rotator cuff tear.  Starting this with an injury seems a little nuts but I know I’ll be having surgery (hopefully in the winter) and my recovery will be that much easier if I’m in at least some kind of better shape than I’m currently in.  Look, don’t try to talk me out of it, I’m doing it.
  6. Archery – This has been out of my life for too long.  It will most likely have to wait until my shoulder is repaired because I’m right handed.
  7. Getting crafty – One of the things I’ve wanted to add to my life for a long time is learning how to make jewelry and doing some other DIY projects.  I want to be able to fit this into my life.
  8. Weekend getaways.  I live in a beautiful state.  And I want to see every part of it.  And Washington too.  Weekend trips will be a staple part of our lives.  Although not in October because I have SARC training ha ha.

I’m going to stop there for now.  As you can see I’m not one for sitting still. I feel less frenzied in my new life although I can’t explain how or why.  I just do. Maybe it’s my mental well being. I’m calmer.  And I’m happy. I guess the best way to phrase it is that I feel at peace.  Although I miss My Love like crazy.

 

**Title taken from Bon Jovi’s Its My Life  – Don’t judge